Embracing Your High-Needs Unique Child: They Don't Need Fixed

Oct 13

As a parent, you naturally want the best for your child. You want to protect and guide them, ensuring they have all the tools they need to succeed in life. You're their biggest ally, and you're always there to guide them through life. But what if we told you that your high-needs child isn't broken, damaged, or in need of fixing? They're just unique, and they deserve your love, support, and high-fives exactly as they are.

Embracing the Quirkiness

Your kid, just like you, has their own set of quirks and that’s cool. These unique traits aren't something that needs fixing; they're something that makes your child who they are! When you embrace their individuality, you're helping them build self-confidence and resilience – two qualities that will serve them well in life.

Every child, no matter their quirks or needs, deserves your love and support – no strings attached. When you love your child for who they are, it gives them a solid foundation of security and self-worth. It's like telling them, "Hey, you're awesome just as you are!"

Throw out the idea of “fixing”

Thinking that you need to "fix" your high-needs child can do more harm than good. It can make them feel like they're not measuring up, leading to self-doubt and stress. Instead of trying to fit them into a one-size-fits-all mold, try celebrating their strengths and interests.

Where does this need to “fix” them come from?

The idea of "fixing" our kids often comes from the pressure we feel to make them fit into what society considers "normal." Think about it - we all want our children to be happy and successful, but sometimes, that desire to fit in can make us think they need to be fixed or changed.

Maybe you've heard your friends, family, or experts giving well-meant advice, saying your child should act a certain way or hit certain milestones at a particular time. It's like they're saying, "Hey, your kid needs fixing to meet these standards."

The pressure from schools and professionals can also be overwhelming. We're told that our kids need to excel in certain areas, even if it's not what they're naturally good at or interested in. It's hard not to feel like we should be fixing something.

Plus, we can’t forget the fear of judgment – we worry about what others will think if our child doesn't meet these expectations. That fear can drive us to try and fix our kids to avoid criticism.

But here's the thing: we might be doing all this because we don't fully understand or appreciate our child's unique needs, abilities, and challenges.

The goal isn’t to make our children fit the world. We can make our part of the world adapt to our children. They aren’t meant to be in a box . . . and neither are we.

Finding the Superpowers

Forget about "fixing" your kiddo – let's focus on recognizing their superpowers and helping them nurture them. What are they into? What gets them excited? Encourage their passions, and watch them grow into super confident and resilient little humans.

Take a step back, embrace their individuality, and provide the love and support they need to thrive in their own way. Celebrate diversity and encourage them to be their authentic selves. No fixing required – just love, support, and acceptance.

It’s okay to have backup

Sometimes, high-needs kids may need a little extra help, and that's totally okay. Seeking advice from experts isn't about "fixing" your child – it's about giving them the tools and support they need to shine.

This can also mean having extra support for you as well. Connecting with other parents who've been through similar journeys can be quite helpful. Swap stories, share tips, and give each other a virtual high-five. You're not alone, and knowing others have your back can be pretty empowering.

So, here's the deal – your high-needs child is not broken, damaged, or in need of fixing. They're simply unique, just like you and me. Your job as a parent is to love, support, and nurture them just as they are. Celebrate their quirks, strengths, and individuality. With your love and guidance, they're going to do amazing things. Your child is awesome, just as they are, and they don't need fixing – they need your love and support to shine!

If you aren’t sure where to begin in supporting your high-needs child, join my supportive community of parents like you! Get support and answers to your questions as you navigate your high-needs parenting journey.

Brandy Hall, MSN, RN

Meet Brandy—nurse practitioner, parent coach, and fellow mom in the trenches of high-needs parenting.

She’s navigated the sleepless nights, the endless appointments, the sensory battles, the frustration of fighting for answers, the therapy waitlists, and the constant worry of Am I doing enough? With one kid, it was a feeding disorder that no one seemed to take seriously. With the other, it was a whirlwind of sleep struggles, sensory quirks, and safety worries—eventually leading to an autism and ADHD diagnosis.

But she didn’t just sit back and accept the “wait and see” approach. She dug in—researching, advocating, and using her medical background to find real solutions. And along the way, she realized something: moms like her don’t just need more advice—they need real support from someone who gets it.

If you’re raising a child with autism or ADHD and feel like you’re constantly running on fumes, you’re in the right place. Brandy’s here to share what works, what doesn’t, and how to make sure you don’t get lost in the chaos. Because no mom should have to figure this out alone.